I need a place to write.
I need it because my head is full, things are spinning at breakthrough speed, and I need to put things down on a page. I need it to be online, because I need to think I might be read in order to give a semblance of structure to my rants. And, for the time being, I need it to be sent into the void, hence this place will have no comments, and no tracking. I hope it’ll be read, I hope it’ll help some people who know me to know me a bit better. But I need it to be on a volontary basis: by not having a direct mean to know who’s reading, I’m removing the burden I could put on people to react, so they can show they’re reading, so they can show they care. I’d love to think people care, I don’t want anyone to have to prove it to me.
I’m doing it in English too, which is not my first language. English readers will hopefully forgive the occasional weird sentence structure it can sometimes bring. That’s no coquetry: my personal life being what it is, English has been my main language for several years, and -though it might change, but we’ll go back to that at some point- it’s now my main language, the one that comes naturally when I write, when I think. I find myself in that strange situation where I, for the time being, am living in my origin country, but I prepare every upcoming encounter by preparing my sentences in English in my head, only to translate them when the actual conversation happens. Besides, they say that you don’t have the exact same personality in a language different from your native one, and switching to English as my main language a few years ago has indeed allowed me to shed some old burdensome skin, remnant of my upbringing, and to advance further and quicker on the path of becoming who I want to be.
I built up this website very quickly, a Sunday afternoon of not being well. It doesn’t look like me, I used a pre-existing template. I might change it, or I might wonder about where the point is and never touch it at all. The only personal thing about it right now is the header picture, which I took years ago in a little piece of paradise that is very dear to me.
I do not intend the place to be fun. My life is in shambles right now, and that’s why I need to write things down.
I am Le Friendly Aspie. Welcome to my place.