A small note

I had an awful lot on my plate this week. This place is where I formalize my thoughts, but right now, there’s like a big stormy cloud in my mind, and it’s not yet ready to be sorted and given a tidy form, hence the silence.

As I said, I was diagnosed high potential, or gifted, or whatever the state of the art calls it right now. I’ve been diagnosed as autistic too, and it appears that my personality type is INTJ (which is unsurprising, as it seems to be the one that comes back the more often for aspies). There is a lot of overlap, so I don’t know what comes from which. One thing I read about INTJs is true for me though: I don’t really know how to handle a problem. Not that I can’t and don’t do it: I just don’t know how I do it.

It’s something I understood at work years ago: once I had been assigned a problem to solve, my boss was expecting regular updates about my work on it, and I was unable to comply. What I do is observe every piece of information, let them sink in, and wait. After a while, once everything is digested, the solution just appears.

That’s how things work for me: I take everything in, let my inner brain, or instinct, or what you want to call that underground part that’s far from concious thoughts, and I don’t have access, nor control, on that hidden process. In the end, it gives me back something raw, but workable. I currently am very short of workable thoughts, so I can’t really give any update.

While the processor processes, things are happening in everyday life: I started packing for the big move to come. And taking into account my current state and the stress and anxiety that will surely go through the roof as I’m nearing the end of the current chapter, for the second time in my life, I started to take antidepressants. Not to mention that if I was up until now taking anxiolytics on an ad hoc basis, I was now asked by my physician to take them regularly during the day. The next few weeks will surely be fun to observe.

Page top